dive! dive!

Welcome to my new blog: http://leavingmynets.blogspot.com/ If you promise to come visit I promise to get a kitten. I don't know how that benefits you, but I like the idea....

John 21:22

God has a plan for your life. Do you realize that? Sometimes I forget that our lives as Christians all intricately work together in God's kingdom. Think of a clock, and how the movement of one piece allows another piece to move. Maybe, when God asks us to do something, we don't understand how it does any good. But the next day, three years down the road, or in eternity, perhaps it is allowing someone else to do something he couldn't otherwise have done.

It's almost like a chessboard of strategy. If we allow ourselves to be moved by God's hand, He can maneuver others who are allowing themselves to be moved to accomplish His goal. Maybe we won't see it on our trip or with our check or however it is we serve. But it is not for us to need to see everything. We just need to go and do. A friend of mine once said, "We are vessels to be used as the Master calls." God promises to be with us and to go with us. What more do we need to know?

Sometimes I get caught up in what others' callings are, or wanting my calling to be in the same direction as theirs. But then I'm reminded that God has a specific plan for me, for my life alone. What He does with me is not contingent on anyone or anything else. He will move people and things out of the way to take me where He wants me to go. And I don't want to interfere with His plan by clinging to things that are hindering Him from leading me to the place He wants me to be.

"He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food" (Job 36:16). I don't think that "comfort" means I'll be cozy and safe and free of troubles, but that by doing what the Lord calls me to do, I will be at home wherever He is. I can't think of a place more free from restriction or a table more laden with choice food than home, and I want to find that in Jesus. "'Come, follow me,' Jesus said, 'and I will make you fishers of men.' At once they left their nets and followed him" (Matthew 4:19-20).

You are my holiday
You are right in the middle of me
You are my hideaway
You are home
- Shane & Shane

happy Thanksgiving

Mom: "My mom didn't want to have children because she was afraid they would fall under the mark of the Beast."
Pastor Bob: "I think children are the Beast."

What I Want for Christmas

There are several intangible, cliched (yet truthful!) things I would love for Christmas. I would love it if my brothers, sister-in-law, and niece could all be with me and my parents this Christmas. I would love it if no sadness hung over the season, but instead the purest joy, contentment, and maybe - yes, definitely - even happiness. But none of these things are really in my control, and even if I pray for them, God is not a Santa Claus who delivers our desires wrapped in red paper, but a Father who recognizes our needs in light of the big picture that we can't see.

So. What I want for Christmas.

1. A Pilot Dr. Grip gel pen. They're $10, and the one I have used to write in my journal for seven years (that my father gave me for Christmas with the explicit instructions to "use it to write") was stolen by a homeless person over the summer. I guess even little commodities make a big difference in someone's life who owns nothing. Had I known he/she would steal my pen that day, per Jesus' instruction I would have given him/her my two gel ink refills, too. (They're not doing me any good right now.)
2. New shoes. I've only had the ones I usually wear less than two years, but the top layer is peeling off and I can feel a breeze in my foot whenever I take a step forward. I would like to not have to plan what socks I wear depending on whether I care if they get wet from the holes in the bottom of my shoes. (Did I mention the rubber on the bottoms is also worn through?)
3. Axis & Allies. Yes, it's a Risk-like board game where each player participates in World War II. "Control the fate of the world in this incredible game of military strategy, courage, and cunning!" My only hesitancy in owning this game is that no one will want to play it with me.
4. A hand-held mixer. I could really go all-out and tell you I want the green, "country pear"-colored upright Kitchen Aide mixer from Bed, Bath, & Beyond, but it's $400, and that's almost 3-months' salary for a persecuted pastor in China. All I need is a hand-held mixer so that my butter doesn't clump with my brown sugar.
5. A new loofah, Olay vanilla-scented body wash, toothpaste, a new toothbrush, dental floss, and one of those super nice Venus razors. This is the Christmas list of a college student.

conversation around the dinner table

Mom: You know Cheri Keaggy? Is she blind?
Dad: No
Courtney: Yes.
Mom: ‘Cause I saw her on TV and she looked like she was blind.
Dad: Well actually, I don’t know, so why did I say anything?
Courtney: I always thought she was blind.
Dad: That wasn’t Cheri Keaggy.
Mom: Then who was it?
Heather: Why don’t I just look it up?
Dad, Mom, and Courtney continue in conversation.
Heather, watching YouTube: I don’t think she was blind.
Dad: Write on her Facebook wall, “CAN YOU SEE THIS?”
Heather: She’s definitely looking around in this scene.
Dad: Is she swaying side to side or back and forth while she plays?
Heather: Back and forth.
Dad: Yeah, she can see.
Mom: Who was on TV then?
Courtney: I always thought she was blind.
Dad, after looking it up: Ginny Owens.
Mom: Oh, Jenny Owens.
Dad and Heather: GINNY.
Heather: Ginny Owens isn’t blind.
Courtney: Yes she is. What does she sing? “Be thou my vision….”

love

The hardest people to love are the ones that are mean for no reason. The ones who treat you condescendingly, the ones who act like you're imposing on them because they don't like carrots and they wanted a bag instead of a box. The ones who are angry and take it out on you.

The easiest people to love are the ones who are grateful to the point of hugs. The ones who are happy to receive anything they can and understand when you can't do more. The ones with big families, the ones living on the street, the ones who hang around and help sweep the stairs or take out the trash.

Maybe the hardest people to love are also the ones you can't give enough love to. That makes love hard. The family of 10 from Somalia. The 21-year-old single mother with cancer. The children who don't get to experience the carelessness of being a kid.

The funnest ones to love are the ones who are crazy. The two Russian 19-year-old guys hitch-hiking across the US for the summer. The woman whose father was a scientist convicted of Communism and whose mother was royalty refugeed from Spain. The guy who asked me nutrition and exercise advice even though he was living on the street.

I don't always love the people I should. Showing favoritism is a subconscious thing sometimes. Jesus loved them all, the hard ones, the easy ones, the fun ones. He had compassion on the ones I would turn away or get annoyed with. I wished once that Jesus worked in the food pantry, so I could see what compassion in these circumstances looks like. But...I guess...maybe that's what Jesus left us the Holy Spirit for.

because of Bella

Mountains, parks, roses, Swiss chocolates, the homeless, poverty, Mormons, growth, change, bringing the kingdom of God...

none of these are the reason God brought me to Utah for the summer.

I love kittens.

I have decided to become a missionary to the kitty population of Salt Lake City. Bella's coat was groomed and silky, but inside she craved love for who she is, not what she looks like. Larry was thin and scraggly, and when he opened his mouth no sound came out. It broke my heart to see him reduced to such humiliation. Especially since his name was Larry. And he might've been a girl. And we just found out a little calico is missing! What if she's lost or stolen, hungry and cold? Something needs to be done about this injustice! I sacrifice myself to love and cuddle and frolic with neglected or mistreated kitties. Especially ones that purr really loudly and bat at snails with their little white paws.