Thursday, October 30, 2008
get behind me, Satan
I feel like I'm trying to quit smoking and people keep blowing cigarette smoke in my face. I'm not sure if I've ever been this tempted to listen to Christmas music this early in the year. I keep listening to soundtracks from The Family Stone and Little Women in attempts to assuage my needy Christmas spirit. My mom just sent me my favorite cookies (which we always bake at Christmastime) and Holiday Inn (Irving Berlin's debut of "White Christmas" - but it doesn't count as a Christmas movie). I am going to eat and watch and think about how there are only 27 days until Thanksgiving break.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
bleat
"...the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes....they exchanged their Glory for something disgraceful....they have deserted the Lord....they are unfaithful to their God....The Israelites are stubborn, like a stubborn heifer. How then can the Lord pasture them like lambs in a meadow?" (Hosea 3:1; 4:7, 10, 12, 16).
I wrote in the margins of my Bible: It is completely the choice of the Israelites to be far from God. God is the one loving them, He is not the one deserting them, He is not the one being unfaithful, He is not the one being stubborn. He wants to pasture them like lambs in a meadow. Look at Isaiah 40:11, "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart." All we have to do is let Him. Do you ever feel like you want to be strong for God? That He's disappointed if you're weak? I do. All the time. But that's not at all what He wants. How can He carry the lamb close to his heart - which is where I want to be - if the lamb keeps kicking and struggling to prove how capable it is? It takes will to be far from God, but surrender to be near Him. I need to be reminded that He actually wants me to be near Him: "But now, this is what the Lord says--he who created you, he who formed you: 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine'" (Isaiah 43:1).
Who could love you, desire you, miss you, know you, want you, more than He who created you?
Please forgive me for time that I've wasted
I'm a doubting Thomas
I'll take Your promise
Though I know nothing's safe
Oh me of little faith
~ Nickel Creek
I wrote in the margins of my Bible: It is completely the choice of the Israelites to be far from God. God is the one loving them, He is not the one deserting them, He is not the one being unfaithful, He is not the one being stubborn. He wants to pasture them like lambs in a meadow. Look at Isaiah 40:11, "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart." All we have to do is let Him. Do you ever feel like you want to be strong for God? That He's disappointed if you're weak? I do. All the time. But that's not at all what He wants. How can He carry the lamb close to his heart - which is where I want to be - if the lamb keeps kicking and struggling to prove how capable it is? It takes will to be far from God, but surrender to be near Him. I need to be reminded that He actually wants me to be near Him: "But now, this is what the Lord says--he who created you, he who formed you: 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine'" (Isaiah 43:1).
Who could love you, desire you, miss you, know you, want you, more than He who created you?
Please forgive me for time that I've wasted
I'm a doubting Thomas
I'll take Your promise
Though I know nothing's safe
Oh me of little faith
~ Nickel Creek
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
musings
It makes me sad that someone stole my iron. My last name is printed in big purple letters down the side, so unless someone else has the same big purple last name as I do and took it by mistake, there is no reason why he should have stolen my iron.
It also makes me sad that the books the library sold in their book sale had "DISCARD" stamped in the inside cover. It's like going to an orphanage and stamping "DISCARD" all over the children. How would you like it blatantly printed across your forehead that you're not wanted?
It makes me happy that this weekend I'm going "home" to see my parents and my friends, the latter of which I haven't seen since May and don't know when I'll see again. Next weekend is Vineyard Community Church's "Vinefest" (with hay rides and tackle football and grilled foods), and the weekend after that is a possible Chicago trip with Leiza. Yay.
It also makes me happy that it's autumn, and I wrote an ode to the way the football field looks when the sun is setting on it and casts shadows to the 30-yard line. Glistening helmets, spiraling pigskins, you look happy to meet me.
The chapel speaker yesterday tried to convince us that a relationship with God is not enough, and we, as humans, need human relationships. I was not pleased as he continuously looked out at the auditorium and stated, "God is not enough!" If that's the case, what kind of God is He, who can't fulfill all our needs with only Himself? Not a god I'd want to serve.
Epitomes of autumn in which I have to this moment participated:
~ Anne of Green Gables
~ homemade apple pie
~ ubiquitous pumpkin
~ the marriage of cinnamon and my senses
~ leaf crunching
~ football
~ season premieres of Pushing Daisies, The Office, and House
~ blue skies smiling at me; nothing but blue skies do I see
Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it,
and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth
seeking the successive autumns. ~ George Elliot
((Not quite as good as my ode to football...but okay nonetheless.))
It also makes me sad that the books the library sold in their book sale had "DISCARD" stamped in the inside cover. It's like going to an orphanage and stamping "DISCARD" all over the children. How would you like it blatantly printed across your forehead that you're not wanted?
It makes me happy that this weekend I'm going "home" to see my parents and my friends, the latter of which I haven't seen since May and don't know when I'll see again. Next weekend is Vineyard Community Church's "Vinefest" (with hay rides and tackle football and grilled foods), and the weekend after that is a possible Chicago trip with Leiza. Yay.
It also makes me happy that it's autumn, and I wrote an ode to the way the football field looks when the sun is setting on it and casts shadows to the 30-yard line. Glistening helmets, spiraling pigskins, you look happy to meet me.
The chapel speaker yesterday tried to convince us that a relationship with God is not enough, and we, as humans, need human relationships. I was not pleased as he continuously looked out at the auditorium and stated, "God is not enough!" If that's the case, what kind of God is He, who can't fulfill all our needs with only Himself? Not a god I'd want to serve.
Epitomes of autumn in which I have to this moment participated:
~ Anne of Green Gables
~ homemade apple pie
~ ubiquitous pumpkin
~ the marriage of cinnamon and my senses
~ leaf crunching
~ football
~ season premieres of Pushing Daisies, The Office, and House
~ blue skies smiling at me; nothing but blue skies do I see
Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it,
and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth
seeking the successive autumns. ~ George Elliot
((Not quite as good as my ode to football...but okay nonetheless.))
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